CONFLICT

What do we think of when we hear the word “conflict”? Office politics? The all-out verbal brawl the couple had before they split up? World War III? All these are included in the range of conflicts that can occur, as are argument, change, clash, competition, difference, feud, interfere, squabble, and struggle. There’s a wide range of activity covered by the word “conflict”.

“Conflict” doesn’t always involve aggression. Change, difference, variation — these do not necessarily involve aggression, but they do trigger varying degrees of stress. Change is stressful because of the element of uncertainty involved.

All conflict is rooted in differences, and that’s where conflict develops — in the differences and how we handle those differences. The more incompatible the differences are, the more intense the conflict will be. That’s why the new kid on the block is bullied — because they’re new, unknown, and different. The new kid is “them”, not “us”; the new kid is, well, new and therefore, can’t be trusted.

Differences provide interest, contrast and colour. Think of music. One person singing a single note would be boring. The pitch has to change to create an interesting melody. One person singing a melody, unaccompanied by any other singers or musicians is better, but it can get boring fairly quickly. Add harmonies from backup singers and an instrumental accompaniment, and you’re set. Which is more interesting: one note going nowhere, or a bunch of different notes weaving melodies and harmonies? The latter, of course, and it’s the differences that make it interesting.

The FistFree Language™ skillset allows you to explore differences, to find common ground, and to create solutions that work for the conflicts that life brings us.